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I don't dream like other people. Most people, they see pictures, you know... and symbols. And they dream about being naked in public and flying. I used to remember dreaming about flying and looking down on the earth and feeling free... I'd like to dream like that, but I don't. I used to walk home from school. I would get off the bus at one bus stop and my neighbor, Darryl, got off the bus at the next stop, even though he lived right next to me... 'cause, you know, it was closer to his house. We lived...we had...there was a lot of acreage...there was a bridle trail... I would walk down the bridle trail, and I'd climb back over the back fence to get to my yard and go home. But when I was twelve, Darryl started getting off at my bus stop, and he would walk home with me. And, I thought, well, maybe he liked me, and just because he was a boy and I was supposed to like boys, I thought well, maybe, even I liked him. He wasn't very nice to me, but he walked with me every day and that was more than any other boy would do. And maybe because I thought I liked Darryl, it was okay for him to start touching me... And I didn't like it. On band day, I'd hit him with my french horn. But then one day it wasn't band day, and he grabbed me, and I tried to fight him, but I was small, and he was big. And he put me on the ground. In the dirt. On my back. And there were stones. And it hurt. And he held me down, and he put his hands inside my clothes, and he laid on top of me and, I... I didn't know what to do, and I was afraid, and so I... I just laid there. And then he stopped, and he walked home. And I sat there for a while. And then I went home, and went in my room and sat in the closet, in the dark... and I tried to curl up into the smallest ball that I could make and just... be small. It started to happen every day that wasn't band day, and I did everything I could do... really tried... but I didn't know what to do. It just kept happening... I would try to get off at a different bus stop or walk home from school - and it was really far from school - but if it wasn't band day, he'd be there. I tried to take my french horn to school every day, but my mom said that I wasn't really going to practice on recess, because I never practiced at home. And one day, as I was laying there in the dirt, just laying there, trying to pretend that I didn't exist, I looked over and in the stable at one of my other neighbor's (where he usually caught me) there was this stable boy... and he was looking straight into my eyes ... didn't waver. I tried to scream, you know? I tried, but that part was like a dream - you want to scream, but you can't... and your throat just aches and... it's because when you're dreaming, you're paralyzed. But I mouthed, "help me". But he just kept staring into my eyes, and I knew he wasn't going to help me. And Darryl got off of me, and he went home, and I went... home. That was the day, I think, that I told my mom. She sat very quiet and didn't really look at me, but... it stopped. That was good. But my mom never really looked at me anymore. Or when she looked at me, she looked through me, like... Anyway, maybe that's why I don't dream in pictures. Because I'm invisible, they're not. And my point, before all of that was... I don't dream about flying.