| "CANDY BAR BLUES" | |
| I heard some large SNICKERS from BABY RUTH, As the THREE MUSKETEERS barged through the front door. I could see they were fixing to even up the SKOR. They were shouting, This aint no candy bar no more. The jukebox played a sweet SYMPHONY, Ramblin Man, always an Allman Joy, When the crystal chandelier, like a shooting STAR, BURST to the floor, And spelled out a message too big to ignore: This aint no candy bar no more. Eminems boys tried to protect him, but they threw that rapper to the floor. MIKE AND IKE spilled the cow juice he had poured, Saying, You can follow the MILKY WAY to the door; This aint no candy bar no more. A romantic interlude: You should have seen TOOTSIE ROLL with the punches, as she Turned these TWIZZLERS into boxed lunches dropped them like in a BUTTERFINGER drama. Shes the very last RED HOT mama. Yet she stays GOOD AND PLENTY humble even when she makes VIOLET CRUMBLE What do I know about her? She kisses like PEPPERMINT PATTY, And Im proud to be her SUGAR DADDY. Itll be a ROCKY ROAD from her NECCO the woods to FIFTH AVENUE; Shell take it one bite at a time, this big city, BIG LEAGUE CHEW. Back to the brawl: The FAST BREAK fight reached a crescendo; The Musketeers left behind a few meMENTOS. Just a BIT-O-HONEY out of season, A momentary lapse of RIESEN, A fine line TWIX truth and treason. WERTHERS smoke, theres fire and SMORE; This aint no candy bar no more. Judgment Day: Over MOUNDS of paperwork, the judge took a stand. He said, Im going to fine you all 100 GRAND, And put a WHATCHAMACALLIT a padlock on the door; This aint no candy bar no more This aint no KIT KAT Club, no MARS bar, no CLARK bar, no LOOK bar; This aint no candy bar no more. What kind of message am I sending? Its another OH HENRY surprise ending. Copyright 2002 Lex Zaleta | |