| "That Hurts a Lot" | |
| THAT HURTS A LOT Did you ever spend your whole day Looking for that special gift? Went and spent that extra pay You made from those double shifts? She opens it and looks inside, Says its just like the one she got From her new boyfriend Clyde Oooooh, that hurts a lot! Did you ever spend a whole week Painting your neighbors house? Of course, you did it all for free At the urging of your spouse. He steps outside and looks around, Then he says, “You missed a spot.” Your jaw just about hits the ground Oooooh, that hurts a lot! Did you ever stub your toe, And spill your hot coffee? Burned so bad you had to go To that room marked “EMERGENCY”! Dont you love those paper cuts When theyre dipped in gasoline? Its like a kick in the nuts With a titty twister in between. Did you ever save some dough, Put away a little mad money? You say, “Easy come, easy go!” Just trying to be funny. Seems like only a moment later, The car breaks down on the spot; And so does the refrigerator Oooooh, that hurts a lot! Ever sit on a fire ant hill In your best underwear? Ever get lost at the landfill, And get bats stuck in your hair? Dont you love those paper cuts When theyre dipped in gasoline? Its like a kick in the nuts With a titty twister in between. Ever have a best friend that gloats Over everything hes bought? Runs right over your rowboat With his brand new yacht Ooooooh, that hurts a lot! Ever do what I just did, Shove a sharp stick in your eye Leaves a splinter so big It hurts to even cry? Dont you love those paper cuts When theyre dipped in gasoline? Its like a kick in the nuts With a titty twister in between. Ever swallow a bee Stings you on the way down? Ever try to take a pee With a kidney stone in town? Oooooh, that hurts a lot! Copyright 2007 Lex Zaleta | |